


Without You

by notesfromjasey



Category: Thor - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 17:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5013541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notesfromjasey/pseuds/notesfromjasey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In order to protect Loki from the forces of Jotunheim, Thor leaves the throne of Asgard to Loki, where Loki is left with painful memories and an almost impossible duty to perform alone. Will Thor survive his mission, and return to his beloved? Or will fate rearrange things for the worst?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without You

-  
Loki awoke to no one beside him but the cold and frigid air.  
And just when he could have sworn a sleep ridden second ago that he felt a warm presence beside him, his dreams ripped themselves away from reality once more.  
His king was, once again, nowhere to be found.  
Loki sat up in the pure white bed that only held him, holding up the single white sheet to cover up his chest and his mouth.  
One single transparent tear raced down his cheek.  
Loki dropped the sheet from his hold, bringing both of his hands to cover up his face, his sobs almost silent.  
Loki knew well why his king was away.  
After the battle in New York, Loki was to return to Jotunheim and resume his life as an exile, as a Jotun, what he was meant to be all along. Thor remained intent on having Loki stay in Asgard, close to him, and still remained in a long and grueling battle for Loki to stay with him instead of returning to the frigid ice age that he knew Loki would only suffer in. Odin was dead, and Asgard was at present standing on rotting stilts. The people of Asgard joined Loki in waiting for their valiant and brave king, but none of them would ever match the pain Loki felt for Thor’s absence.  
Loki drew his hands away from his face, shutting his eyes as his memories took over his thoughts once again. 

_“I must go, Loki,” Thor whispered, holding Loki close against him by the small of his back. “I can not have Jotunheim invade the place where you stay, and I will not let them have you,” Thor swore, his face contorted into a grim sadness as he held Loki’s face with his free hand, smoothing back Loki’s hair with his fingertips._  
_“Brother, no, this is madness,” Loki countered quickly, shaking his head with tears beginning to well up in his eyes before Thor leaned down and set their lips together, kissing him slow and sweet. Loki draped his arms around Thor’s neck, his tears running down his face without a sound. Thor pulled away, wiping the remains of Loki’s tears away with the rough pad of his thumb. “You can’t leave me like this,” Loki begged, touching their foreheads together. “Is this my punishment for Midgard? Is it?”_  
_“No, my love,” Thor explained, looking behind him to the closed door that would soon open for Thor to exit. “I am going to protect you, Loki. And if leaving you for a brief amount of time is the price, I will pay it,” Thor said, keeping his eyes low to the ground. He lifted his head up to kiss Loki again, this time making it rash and desperate. Loki held on fast to his king, trying to tug him back when Thor pulled away once again._  
_“I’ll go with you,” Loki proposed with a rush, breathing in ragged breaths. “I’ll go with you, and we can fight them together-”_  
_“No! Loki, I refuse to let you come within their reach, if you go, you will only be placed in more danger than ever before,” Thor pled, placing his hands on Loki’s shoulders with a slightly firm grip. “And I will not let you come within death’s cold reach again, I swear it,” Thor assured, his eyes full of pain._  
_Loki looked up at Thor, pain and confusion spread across his face. He lifted his hand up to Thor’s face, holding it gently. “Then, you must promise me, my king, that you will be returning to me,” Loki requested, trembling where he stood._  
_“I swear it, my liege,” Thor promised, tilting Loki’s chin up one final time to kiss him goodbye. “I will return to Asgard, and to you, and you will be safe.”_

Loki knew that despite his King’s promise, he was not safe.  
Although they presented no physical harm, his nightmares and fears plagued his mind without relent every moment since Thor parted away from Loki’s arms and crossed the bifrost, infusing themselves deep into the Noirette’s mind, draining away all hope that Thor would return, and sucking up all of the happiness that Thor could possibly have left behind with Loki in his wake.  
For now, Loki remained as the sole King of Asgard.  
He should have been happy, being able to claim what he had always wanted, since he could utter the phrase.  
He was dissatisfied.  
Loki desired the throne. He craved the war prize of power over Asgard that arrived with it.  
He had both of those things now.  
And Loki remained unhappy.  
The horribly empty throne beside him did not please him.  
The cold and clean side of the bed reminded him every night of the pain he tried to keep hidden away in a smooth smile.  
The silence that followed him haunted him as if it were a real wraith lingering throughout the palace walls.  
Loki tried.  
Loki tried to rule Asgard with a gentle but firm hand as he knew Thor would, a reign that was wise as it was powerful.  
He did all of those things, and he did them well, but he was missing the true happiness that Thor would have surely ruled his kingdom with.  
Thor’s smile was burning into his mind again when the chamber door opened with a nearly soundless creak, prompting Loki to turn his head to see his visitor.  
His servant bowed low, keeping his spine bent as he spoke.  
“My King, you have a letter addressed to you from our King Thor. It is from Jotunheim.”  
“Bring it here,” Loki demanded, his voice cold. The servant obeyed, keeping his eyes low to the ground while handing the letter to Loki, taking his leave and shutting the door behind him.  
Loki’s fingers trembled as he opened the clumsily sealed letter, both of his hands now shaking as he read the slanted words written by his king.  
_My Dearest Loki,_  
_The battle I fight for you is nearly done. Jotunheim’s royals are greatly diminished, and you will be safe from their grasps as long as I finish them off. My return to Asgard, and ultimately, to you, will be soon, my beloved. I trust that Asgard will remain safe in your hands, and I will soon be ruling alongside you. Keep your faith in me close to you._  
Loki swiftly moved the letter away from him as soon as the first tear fell onto the aged paper, making a single dark spot that resembled a new moon. He held up his hand to his heart that was covered by the single bed sheet and soon brought the letter close to him as well.  
Loki would remember.  
He would keep his faith in Thor that he always possessed even closer to him now.  
He rose from the bed he used to share with his King and draped the single white sheet around his shoulders, wrapping himself up in it the way Thor’s strong arms used to.  
He led himself to the baths, dropping the sheet he had wrapped around him to surrender himself to the cold air that sliced at his senses. Memories tried and tried again to attack at his mind, and his defenses against them were as high as they would ever be.  
He stepped into the steaming water, hissing low as the heat stung at his skin.  
When he had returned from New York to Asgard, Thor and Loki had shared these baths together every time they would bathe. Those were happy times. Times that were full of sensuous cunning and playful seductions, times were breathing was easy, when sadness’ dead and cold weight did not reside inside Loki’s chest.  
Now, taking a breath was about as easy as bringing Thor back himself, right this moment.  
Loki thought about lowering himself further into the water. He thought twice.  
He could not bear to watch Thor while residing in Valhalla finding his body floating away on the river, heading towards the falls, candles floating in paper cartons hovering above and around him.  
He would live, if only just for his king.  
How ironic it was, that living was the worst kind of torture itself. At least, it had seemed to be that way lately. 

 

Loki walked down the hallway in his emerald and midnight adorned robes towards his lonely throne, trying to sort through his mind of the matters that were to be attended to today in Asgard. The bifrost needed to be closed off from use for the time being, due to a flux in the time space continuum that was making confused and unwanted visitors drop into the realm at random given times. Although he trusted the gatekeeper to fulfill his duties and repair the shining bridge in no time at all, he was hesitant about closing it off. What if Thor’s return were to be today? What if, because of the closure, he couldn’t return to Asgard? Couldn’t return to his throne? Couldn’t return to him?  
Loki shook his head. He had long been aware that Thor’s absence and his infinite worries and sorrows clouded his head on vitally important matters. For his own sake, he would not let them ruin simple processes.  
Upon walking into the throne chamber, Loki immediately noticed the splash of violent and burning red that was draped over his throne.  
His eyes widened, his face snapping into an expression of grim surprise. He ran towards it, darting his eyes in every direction in hopes of seeing Thor’s figure loitering around where his cape was placed.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a very long time ago, and I've decided that it's time for it to be brought out into the world lol. Thank you to my friend Panda for proofreading this and inspiring me!


End file.
